I just filed an incident report with the police.
I was asked if anything was stolen from my car.
I mentioned my anti-bacterial hand gel.
The police lady decided that it had to go in the report.
We cackled as we imagined the judge reading out the offence in court: “You are guilty of breaking and entering, and the theft thereof one small bottle of anti-bacterial hand gel. In addition to 200 hours community service, which I recommend has something to do with cleaning public toilets, I would recommend you see a mental health professional as getting yourself a criminal record for stealing anti-bacterial hand gel suggests a level of idiocy that demands immediate attention. Case dismissed!”
Oh, if only!