The Bard of WA?

The Bard of Western Australia

It would appear from the latest jottings in my notebook that I have come over all Lewis Carroll lately. I seem to be obsessed with The Walrus. It is a good line, something something, The Walrus said. (If you do not know what I am talking about, I suggest you get yourself to the library – online or a real one, if they still exist – and grab a copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and start reading before it is too late and your life is ruined forever!)

I submit these latest poetic gems for your judgement/amusement. I give no apologies for any offence these offerings may cause. They were not written with such intent. I was trying to be amusing. On a scale of 1 to 10 – 1 being ‘hideously bad’ and 10 being ‘poet laureate in the making’ – what do you think? QI-type scoring, i.e. minus scores, will be accepted with a hearty giggle in public and an uncontrollable fit of weeping despair in private. Having said that, some things are probably best left uncommented on. I suspect this may be the better option with regard to the offerings below.

I suppose I should offer a ‘Readers Should Proceed With Caution’ warning. So, okay, Readers Should Proceed With Caution.

Poetic Offering Number 1

“The time has come”, the Walrus said,

“To f…ing do something!

We’ve idled for quite long enough.

It’s time to move our lazy butts!”

And so the Walrus, with fierce intent,

Found himself a home to rent.

He set himself to his task,

And when fini, in glory basked.

“Now all is done and said,

I shall get me to bed.”

And with that, he did.

Poetic Offering Number 2 

“Well, look what you’ve done,” the Walrus said

“Your life is a right mess!

You keep making decisions

That turn out dodgy, at best!

The time has come,” the Walrus exclaimed,

“To let me take control.

Let’s stop procrastinating

And get your life on a roll!”


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