The Worst Thing About Reception-ing/Admin-ing

I have only one word for you. Filing.

Filing! GRRRRRRR!!!!

Please be warned – No. 2

This is more a plea than a warning.

I need to ask you all to understand my sudden disappearance from the world. Today is day 50 in the countdown toward Thesis Submission Day.

My so-called part-time job means I have only two full days to concentrate on my thesis – Mondays and Tuesdays – and there are only 50 of those left until I must submit my thesis.

Given the tightness of this deadline, I am going to have to retreat from the world and you may not hear from me, except for the occasional email, sms or blog.

I plead with you all to understand my need to do so.

I also plead that you will help me to help myself by not requesting assistance from me on a Monday or a Tuesday. I find myself unable to say no to requests for assistance and I am then left feeling stressed and anxious about losing one of my precious thesis writing days. The only day I can offer assistance is a Wednesday and that is only after 1pm. It is my only time off during the week and other than doing the banking for work and, hopefully, making it to the gym, I have no agenda on Wednesday afternoons except watching as much telly as possible and doing my washing.

And if anyone knows of someone who needs a few hours of work a week, I could really do with making my part-time job more part-time. If I could get another day a week that would give me 75 days until Thesis Submission Day, which sounds a lot less scary. Reception experience and computer competency necessary!

So farewell to you all. I must return to Chapter 8. See you at the other end of Thesis Submission Day!

Please be warned – No. 1

I have had enough. Two years I suffered such unfounded accusations from an employer and yesterday someone opened old wounds by accusing me of it again. Although she had me confused with a colleague, this did not alleviate the annoyance and anger I felt at being accused in this way. (And for the record, my colleague was not guilty of incompetence either, a fact I do not think I conveyed emphatically enough to our accuser.)

If there is one thing I am not, it is incompetent.

I am not saying I am perfect and do not make mistakes. Far from it. My mistakes, however, do not derive from incompetence. After 20 years as an administrator I have learned a few things and incompetence is not one of them!

Please be warned that if you should dare to direct accusations of incompetence at me, you had better have incontrovertible proof or I will stand there and scream in your face.

You know it’s going to be a bad day when…

…not even the new catchy, inspiring tune by Katy Perry can lift your mood even when listening to it over and over again on the long drive into work.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
Cause there’s a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gunna leave ’em fallin’ down-own-own

You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you’re reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it’s time, you’ll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe-awe-awe”

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It’s always been inside of you, you, you
And now it’s time to let it through

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what your worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

“Sleep is for Wimps”, says Lisa’s Traiterous Body Clock

I was trying to deny what was happening, but this morning at 1:32am, which is the time I awoke from a sleep I had fallen into only an hour or so previously, I realised that my insomnia was back. After joyous months of experiencing four to five hours of unbroken sleep thanks to the advice and tips from my Sleep Doctor, I am back to the crippling world of tossing and turning and one to two hours of sleep a night.

So if you find that Lisa is a grumpy biatch for a while, herewith one explanation. (The other possible explanations are that she has been making it to the gym, although this is not likely, or that she has been without SFFs for a day or two, in which case, cheer the grumpy biatch up with one!)

And it’s back to beating myself over the head each night until I return to the bliss that is four to five hours of sleep.

 Sledgehammer 1  Smiley with lump  Seeing stars smiley  Smiley Sleeping

I will try Meditation with Eric before resorting to the ouchy method illustrated above, although the mallet is under the bed on standby. Desperate times and desperate measures. (

The Birthday Blog

I have already blogged about the fun and excitement we had thanks to freak storms, Western Power and Telstra during my birthday week, (see post titled ‘Lisa’s Birthday, Rain and Western Power’), but I have not shared with you the most important details of the First of March 2011, otherwise known as my 38th Birthday, because I have been too slack / busy with the thesis to down/upload the photographs from my camera that I wished to share with you. (As I have done in previous blogs, I refer you to my URL –

Before commencing, I want to share with you a little image of our fast-flowing crik. This gushing lasted about five hours and by the following morning there was no sign this had ever taken place. You have heard the expression “as dry as a dead dingo’s donger”? Just because it rains does not mean the drought has ended and we can now water our gardens and have more than one two-minute shower per day. That’s Australia for you – as dry as a dead dingo’s donger, even after a freak storm!

Our little crik was flowing!

But back to the more important subject of my birthday!

I was awoken in the morning by Fairy Princess Tully, who sprinkled me with fairy dust. I almost got a birthday kiss too, but she got distracted by all the teddy bears at the foot of my bed. (Yes, I’m 38.)

The breakfast table was festooned with birthday matter – pressies, cute napkins and paper plates, birthday cards containing donations to my ‘Lisa Needs, No WANTS, an iPad’ fund and lots of yummy pink treats. (Spot Fairy Princess Tully’s Fairy Princess dress in the top left corner of the first photograph and imagine it on a cute, cuddly Gorgeous one with an adorable smile.)

My Birthday Table


Note the Detail on the Napkins


Earlier this year, my niece Ashley visited from Canberra and was here for the occasion of her 7th Birthday, which we celebrated with a little party and for which we ordered a yummy butterfly ice-cream cake from The Junction Ice-Creamery (TJI) in Midland.

About a week or so later I was returning the freezer box to TJI and I suddenly thought how absolutely fabulous it would be to write a sad and pathetic blog about purchasing my own birthday ice-cream cake, because it would make for a mildly amusing blog about a girl so sad and pathetic who thinks a blog about purchasing her own birthday ice-cream cake would be mildly amusing! (I have understanding friends and family who humour me in my nuttiness, so I speak/act/create without reservations!)

So I ordered my own birthday ice-cream cake from The Junction Ice-Creamy in Midland causing momentary amusement for the young girl taking my order on my choice of design and wording. The amusement turned to pity when I informed her that I was intending to write an amusing, or sad and pathetic, blog about purchasing my own birthday cake.

On the morning of my 38th Birthday, having established that my BIC cake had not melted overnight thanks to the power outage in our area due to the freak storm, I sent Dad down to collect it. (He’s retired now and needs little chores to keep him busy.) Doesn’t he look so cute and yummy!

Lisa’s Birthday Ice-Cream Cake Purchased by Herself for Herself

When the time finally came to consume my BIC cake, I found myself rather uneasy about cutting into the little fella, although the image below suggests otherwise. It took me a few moments to toughen my resolve and convince myself that this was an inanimate object and would, therefore, not feel the pain of the knife I was intending to use as the means with which to chop off his head, à la The Queen of Hearts. As I stuck the knife in, I made my birthday wish: “Please don’t let my Teddy Bear Birthday Ice-Cream Cake feel this!” I think I read, (past and present tense would be appropriate), too many Enid Blyton books.

If it is any consolation to Theodore, ‘twas the name I gave my BIC cake, he was really scrumptious and we did savour every mouthful of his creamy, honey-comb-chunked loveliness.

The Smiling Assassin Beheads Defenceless Teddy Bear Ice-Cream Cake

I have refrained from removing my red eyes as I think it adds an appropriate air of menace to the photograph.


So it was a very nice birthday despite Mother Nature, Western Power and Telstra conspiring to thwart proceedings.  Mum, Dad, House Guest Kelsie and Fairy Princess Tully treated me well and the generator kept my birthday treats frozen (Theodore the Birthday Ice-Cream Cake) and chilled (the pink champers).

Now if I could just get over the fact that I am nearly 40, life would be almost ok.

A Poem for Adey on the Occasion of His Birthday, 2011

Those of you with a sensitive poetic soul may want to avert your eyes now.

Having only just recovered from the shock and horror he suffered after reading my ‘Dragons’ poem, (see post titled ‘What the poetry world lost…’), I have just inflicted this poetic disaster upon a person I call a friend.

Can the sincerity of my intentions atone for the potential damage I am doing to Adey’s poetic sensibilities? For one who does have the heart and talent of a poet, my poetic, (can I really use that word?), efforts must be aggrieve his soul.

Although maybe I am not as bad as I think. I mean reading this back just now, I have some interesting rhyming things going on and a rather eclectic command of poetic forms…

I invite you to be the judge.

The Poet

* * * * * * * * * * *

A Poem for Adey on the Occasion of His Birthday, 2011

By Lisa Keane Elliott

Emailed 5 days late because the author thought above mentioned Birthday was 8th March!

Today it is your birthday

So I’m just emailing to say

That I hope you have an excellent day!


I know it might be difficult

As work is on the agenda

But forget tonight’s a school night

And go on a little bender.


My verse is quite dodgey

As I’m sure you will agree

It’s obvious the gift for rhyme

The Poet Gods gave not to me.


The intention behind this dreadful rhyme

Is well meaning and sincere

I just wished to transmit to you

A little birthday cheer.


So have a Happy Birthday

Pip Pip Woo Hoo Hoo-Ray

Sent to you by Lisa Keane

Trapped in WA!