Strange, freaky and completely eeriely true

This morning as I made my way to the bus stop, trying to avoid the sight of squashed bobtail carcasses on the road, I popped my iPod onto shuffle and was delighted when the first song of the day was Ewan MacGregor serenading me with ‘Your Song’ (from Moulin Rouge). This joyous song (as is any song sung by Ewan) got me thinking about how nice it would be if I had a lovely young man to serenade me with lovely songs like this one, or maybe a Dean Martin tune.

Freaky coincidence 1: The next song was Dean Martin with his signature tune and my personal favourite, ‘Everybody Loves Somebody’.

Simply a freaky coincidence. Couldn’t happen again, surely.

So my thoughts of a young lovely man named Dean Ewan MacGregor Martin to serenade me lead to thoughts of, well, probably best not go there, but the gist was that I felt a slight twinge of regret that I did not have a young man whom I had left snoring away.

Freaky coincidence 2: Dean Martin is followed by Doris Day with ‘Pillow Talk’. An example of the lyrics for those of you who have never been lucky enough to hear the song.

Pillow talk, pillow talk
Another night of hearin’ myself talk, talk, talk, talk
Wonder how it would be to have someone to pillow talk with me
I wonder how
I wonder who

Pillow talk, pillow talk
Another night of bein’ alone with pillow talk
When it’s all said and done, two heads together can be better than one

 

Okay. So if that didn’t spook you out, then how about this…

I am making my way wearily up the wee hill. (I would like to point out that it is 5:43am at this stage, so although I am slightly out of condition, there is the incredibly early hour to consider too). I am thinking to myself, “Am I there yet?” and my iPod responds with “Vous etes presque”, which is French for “You are almost there”!!

I have some kind of psychic connection with my iPod?

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Happy Birthday Hon Sis!

1981 Denmark Elliotts & Whatmores

Tomorrow my Honorary Sis becomes a thirtysomething. It only seems a short time ago that I was teaching her my potty tricks. No, I do not mean I corrupted her youth with rude words, phrases or deeds. I mean I taught the young Amanda the art of using the potty to do her tinkles. And now Amanda is thirty with two children (Maddie and Ethan, below) of her own to whom she is, no doubt, passing on the potty wisdom she learnt from me all those years ago. (I wonder if she has to adapt the potty wisdom as she lives in America and they might not appreciate or understand our Australian potty ways. I must ask.)

2009jun Ethan & Maddie 2

Have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY tomorrow Amanda!! Get spoiled rotten and have a jolly good time with the ENTIRE Whatmore Clan on visit from Oz. I hope your Dad behaves himself in front of the American side of the family. Or are they just used to his slightly, how can I put this nicely, how about, “odd” ways now?

The Elliott Glen Forrest Clan will be toasting you from the verandah tomorrow with some pink champagne as will the Elliott/Thorne/Noack Clan of Palais Noack in Canberra!

Chin chin! Hic hic HOORAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! XX

Procrastination: 1

Chapter Four, Chapter Four? Where for art thou, Chapter Four?

I am sitting here looking at a blank page.

Well, not blank. I have managed this much:

Chapter Four – The Paris Hôtel-Dieu Post-May Second, 1505-1543

And I have saved my document and set the margins to PhD approved centimetrage.

Still 36 minutes until I meet Lesley for lunch.

I have Tweeted Stephen Fry and about QI finally transmitting on Australian telly. (Tuesdays on the ABC at 9:30pm.)

I have emailed Elise about French class on Saturday.

Jenny-Anne and I have discussed who will have which Twilight journal. (Purchased this morning from Amazon US; a frivolous, unnecessary purchase, but totally acceptable given the excellent exchange rate.)

Did I really need to purchase the Twilight Journal in Special Souvenir Tin? Probably not, but I have no life so what the hell.

 

31 minutes until lunch with Lesley.

Just back from a quick look at Stephen Fry’s website and feeling inspired by the Slimline Fry appearing in the new site banner.

STEPHEN FRY

Must stay away from those SFFs and then I can look all Slimline Agent Deep Fry. (Will explain about my secret agent moniker another time.)

25 minutes until lunch with Lesley.

What if she makes it later?

Bollocks!

Maybe I should just start writing?

Ooh! I must visit Kate Ceberano’s website.

Yeah! A new Kate album coming soon! If you are looking for a new Christmas album, check out the stores in November.

 

Lisa’s Guide to the Art of the Travel Snap

There is an art to the travel snap and it is an art that not many people seem to know about, or if they do, they must be far too self-conscious to apply them.

There is only one simple rule that must be obeyed at all times and it is this: Be not afraid to make a complete twit of yourself.

When in Pisa

There are certain places around the world where a certain sort of travel snap is required from all tourists. For example, when in Pisa, one must take travel snaps of oneself holding the Leaning Tower up.

2004apr Choc Box Tour Pisa Lisa tries to straighten tower

Or a travel snap of yourself leaning in order to make it appear as if the Leaning Tower of Pisa is not leaning at all.

2004apr Choc Box Tour Pisa Leaning Tourists of Pisa

And, of course, pretending to be the Statute of Liberty when at the Statute of Liberty. How many berks have that particular travel snap in their albums?

2008jun14 NY SoL Lisa & Liberty

No, you’re right. That one is tedious. How about positioning yourself so it looks as if Miss Liberty is cleansing your nasal regions with her torch? Much more interesting and, for now, fairly novel.

What’s your gimmick?

It also helps to have a gimmick, a common feature that you can include within your travel snaps. For some people, this gimmick may be a particular pose that they strike to add amusement value to their travel snaps. A ‘Shirley Bassey’ pose, for instance.

2004aug Lyme Park Folly Lisa Bassey's It Up by Mr Darcy's Lake

2004jun12 Middleham Castle Lisa strikes a Bassey pose

Of course, you may wish to retain some semblance of dignity and choose a gimmick something along the lines of:

2004apr Choc Box Tour Firenze Pooh meets Florence2008oct22 Prague Roof view from Castle&Gulliver 2

 

A theme! A theme! My kingdom for a theme!

Maybe you would prefer to set a theme for your travel snaps and create a collage to share with “folks back home”, which has the added benefit of only boring them for a few moments with your travel snaps rather than a few hours.

People enjoy taking travel snaps of amusing signage around the world, or buildings in America that don’t have an American flag adorned it, or men/women I snogged, (not one of my brother’s, surprisingly), or, as per the example below, Snooty Places in the UK Where We Afternoon Tea’d.

2004jul04.Bath.Leonie & her tea at Sally Lunn's2004jul09.London.Leonie Emily & Lisa at The Ritz

2004jun26.London.Leonie, Lisa & Dee at The Dorchester.A Close Up2004mar01 Ritz B'day Tea Lisa with her hot choc

Or how about Self-Portraits, a theme that allows you to look absolutely hideous in the foreground of interestings places because no-one looks good when the camera is pointing directly at them from only arms-length away, so if you are having a bad hair/face day, you can simply blame it on the extreme close-up nature of the photo itself.

It is also a good theme for the lone traveller, because one must remember that there is nothing more tedious for the “folks back home” to be looking at travel snap after travel snap of buildings, fields, amusing signage and other tourists.

Abandon all pride and dignity! Stick that camera at arms length and get that unflattering up-the-nostril travel snap of you and the cathedral/amusing signage/field. You might as well not be there otherwise!

2008jun13 NY TS Lisa&Jayne in Times Sq

2006dec29.Canterbury.Lisa & Cathedral.self portrait2006-~122006-07 Paris.Lisa&J-A&ET.17dec06

Inhibitions farewell, pride and dignity adieu! Think silly. Think frivolous. Think ha ha. Strike a pose and act like a twit. If you don’t think of yourself, think of the “folks back home”. It makes it much more amusing for the rest of us and ultimately, you will enjoy yourself a whole lot more.

2006-07 Paris.Lisa in Jardin du Luxembourg.17dec062006dec Lisa gives Sarah the arse by HoP2006-07 Paris.Eurodisney 5feb.Lisa to Infinity & Beyond2006-~612006-~272007oct06.Sarah Wkend.Hampton Court.Lost in the Maze2008mar23.Bath Sarah enjoys an icecream2008may03 FFFF08 Lisa & the Tour Bus

2004mar07 Wells Camelot Caper Lisa being menacing on THE staircase

Random Thought #3

I love polony and tomato sauce sandwiches.

Watsonia Polony Nob

They are my 4th favourite consumable after Strawberry Freddo Frogs, Cheese Twisties and Ben&Jerry’s icecream.

SFF and FriendsCheese Twisties'Ben&Jerry

Today I have made myself a polony and tomato sauce sandwich.

It is not satisfying me.

I have used inferior tomato sauce.

The Woolsworth Select Brand does not have the same delicious flavoursomeness as Rosella Tomato Sauce.

Rosella Tomato Sauce

One should never compromise on quality. Price is not an issue when one is seeking culinary perfection. Only the best or one’s personal favourite is acceptable.

I am off to purchase some Rosella Tomato Sauce.

Random Thought #2

When did Perth drivers become such bad drivers? I have been driving around in my Dad’s very comfortable Nissan Maxima a lot lately, coasting smoothly along just under the speed limit thanks to the cruise control feature and have found my fellow drivers are not just coasting by me, but zooming out of sight in no time only for us to meet again at traffic lights a little further down the road.

Why are we speeding? Evidently, we get nowhere faster by doing so. We risk costly speeding fines – which many people then have the nerve to grumble about or, shockingly, dispute! We put pedestrians, cyclists, dogs, birdies and our fellow drivers in danger.

Just a thought – why don’t we slow down and stick to the speed limit.